Sign me up for the Nun Life!
Now I know what you're thinking, Cecilly you can't just run off and join a nunnery!
...Well yes I did think that and then people started explaining me all the steps that it takes to become a nun I think so that I would not become a nun...
Apparently you have to show up and chill there for 3 years just thinking about being a nun and decided if it's right for you. Then you've got to give up all your things and spend a lot of time thinking of god and praying...and then after like hundreds of years of nunhood you and god can get married...
Or something like that...
But you know I'm pretty dead set in this nun thing so I think I can just skip all those things and go straight to being a nun...I suppose I could marry god too if I really must but I don't particularly feel like sharing my husband with millions of other nuns...that's just creepy.
But I'mma do it and here's my reasons why!
1-I've decided I'm not mentally able to cope with the loss of my best friend and solid rock. No, Alfred's not dead. But he's gone off to date this crazy chick Cathleen who you know I don't actually hate but is super possessive of her man and hates me.
Understandable because as most women who enter relationships, the child has gone out of her mind and obviously sees me as a threat to the fused entity that is them by having Alfred as my friend. Needless to say I have been very upset over all of this though I absolutely see where she's coming from Alfred was still my best friend. I told that kid everything, I can't count the number of times he has dealt with my hysterics, brought ice cream when I need cheering up, sat through Pride & Prejudice (BBC and Kiera Knightly versions). I don't know how I would have stayed sane the past 3 years of university without him...but I guess I'm going to have to find out...and now I have to wash my own dishes which sucks.
But seriously sadness which I'm accepting.
2-I think I am a victim of harassment ? Maybe? Yeah remember those guys from my last post? The black guys at the library and one of them asked me out?
Well now they've both asked me out like the one guy needed to prove he was better than the other by getting me to say yes. I have no said yes I just walk away from them now! And they're super creepy! I'm always really careful when I'm patrolling the library cause I don't want to see them and usually they're on the first floor....but they've been getting sneakier!
They're studying in different places all the time so I'll think I'm safe and bam there they are on the 3rd floor! And they always try to talk to me, ask me how my day was. It's not friendly it's creepy. But it's not like terrible yet...they haven't tried to follow me home...
And if they try and touch me I will just break their fingers and that will be that.
3-All the guys I know as a whole have just been too touchy lately....maybe it was just drunk me being hyper aware of people passing by me but just all the hands and the limbs and then these two guys who I've never seen before out of no where! Telling me and my drunk friend who I'm trying to help that we should kiss? NO THANK YOU RUDE DOUCHE! So men are out and even though all these girls keep wearing red lipstick around me and I find them super attractive I have no interest in dealing with lady problems and I have no intention of taking those ladies away from the other men and women that do wanna deal with them.
4-If you don't send me to a nunnery I'll be forever lost in a sea of cute sloth gifs and videos. At least in a nunnery there's no internet just lots of reading and praying and singing! My life will not be wasted on those things if I'm in a nunnery!
Come on guys you know you wanna pay my entrance fee!!!!
So yeah basically I'm off to sing about hills alive with music in an Austrian nunnery because I miss my friend, I hate boys, boys are pigs, and sloths have taken over my world!
Seems legit right?
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